PART⚡TIME HITTER Newsletter

Shareholder Updates

Damn, only the second newsletter and we already missed our timehack of getting this out early Wednesday morning. This is due to supply chain issues and Chinese currency manipulation and is not representative of who we are as people who write a newsletter.

The good news is that the intern responsible has been terminated without severance. He literally wouldn’t have lasted a single day at BUD/S. Imbecile.

The better news is that we got a lot of awesome feedback on the first newsletter and have well over 2K subscribers already. Are we heroes? We really can’t say, but yes.

Thanks for the support and we’re excited to have you on this journey with us.

Guardians of the Military Leave Policy Galaxy

One of the quickest ways to tell if a company is hot garbage or not is by looking at its military leave policy. It speaks volumes about the organization and its culture.

Employers that take care of their reservists by providing generous paid military leave programs tend to be pretty awesome places to work across the board—PTO, comp, parental leave, etc.

No company goes out of its way to support military employees but then dicks over the rest of its workforce with shitty comp and benefits, so it’s actually a great litmus test for evaluating a company you might want to work for, even if you’re not a reservist.

BUT, getting a company to tell you what its military leave policy is can be super difficult, believe it or not. You would think companies that talk a big game about veteran hiring 24/7 would be happy to share how great they are at taking care of their military employees right?

WRONG. Shitty companies will often hide, or otherwise obfuscate, how they treat reservists.

Here are some common garbage answers the Friendly Forces team gets when asking veteran recruiters, DEI reps, and HR professionals at MAJOR companies about their military leave policy.

1) Answer: “We abide by USERRA.”

Translation: “We probably won’t fire you when you need to go on orders and we’re definitely not paying you, asshole.”

2) Answer: “That’s proprietary. We can’t share that if you’re not an employee.”

Translation: “I have no f*cking idea and don’t want to admit it,” OR “We don’t have a policy,” OR “Our policy is trash.”

3) Answer: “We are very military-friendly. We won the Military Friendly Dipshit Award 80 years in a row and an ESGR Patriot Award.”

Translation: “Our policy is so shitty that I’m not actually going to answer your question. Instead, I will hope you piss off if I defer to some bullshit accolades that mean less than nothing.”

A company that definitely doesn’t rhyme with Don Beere once scheduled a call with us to say they were THE MOST MILITARY FRIENDLY COMPANY EVER, LITERALLY 10 OUT OF 10 STARS. That’s almost verbatim. Their veteran recruiting guy absolutely refused to tell us what their military leave policy was because it was “pRoPrIeTaRy InFoRmAtIoN”.

Long story short, we did a little open-source research and their website says, “You are entitled to take leave from your employment at [Don Beere] to serve in the Uniformed Services, as consistent with the requirements of the Uniformed Services Employment and Reemployment Rights Act (USERRA).” In other words, “We abide by the absolute minimum set by federal law and willingly do nothing to ease financial burdens for our brave men and women in reserve components.”

1 STAR. Garbage. Full of shit. Big surprise. Your tractors suck too.

Now you know the red flags. Luckily, you can save yourself the time and headache, and just use our dataset on Friendly Forces. That is why we started it in the first place.

Professional Development Tip for the Casual Oper8r

Do you like money? Do you like employment?

Get into cybersecurity. ESPECIALLY, if you have a clearance, this is your meal ticket to a $550K per year lifestyle.

Here’s your roadmap. Get these intro certs. Doesn’t have to be in this order, but it will help. Throw these bad boys on your resume, pair it with a clearance, and you’re in business.

Buy the books, check out the online resources (lots of stuff on YouTube), schedule the test, take it virtually, and profit.

• CompTIA A+: a basic introduction to computer hardware.

• CompTIA Network+: a basic introduction to computer networks.

• CompTIA Security+: a basic introduction to cybersecurity.

• Check out the CompTIA website, Udemy, Coursera, etc.

PART ⚡TIME News

• Jeans and hoodie weather, pumpkin spice lattes, college football, and a potential government shutdown. It would not be fall without all of the above. In the event of a government shutdown, troops and “… [DoD] civilian employees considered essential for national security” would have to continue working without pay. “And about half of the Pentagon’s civilian workforce that work on issues such as recruiting and global affairs would be furloughed.” Legislation to continue pay for these workers was introduced in both the House and the Senate but has not yet been voted on. Should the shutdown occur, the soonest paychecks (to include guaranteed backpay) would be delivered is October 13th. But, no money will be dispersed until the spending bill is agreed upon, which could push back that date. Read more about the looming government shutdown here.

• The Space Force better get active because Iran just claimed to have launched an imaging satellite into space. This move “… could further ratchet up tensions with Western nations that fear its space technology could be used to develop nuclear weapons.” Read all about it here.

• Two SATCOM companies, OneWeb and Intelsat, are chasing SpaceX’s tail in the race to meet increasing connectivity demands. Albeit SpaceX is the clear frontrunner in this sector, their controversial decision-making surrounding StarLink has forced some governments across the globe to weigh their options. Read more about the ongoing competition here.

Bachelor (or Lazy POS) Recipe of the Week

Every week, CPT Chadwick will write down a recipe FROM MEMORY that he picked up in the various selections, operations, and IG investigations he has done (or been the primary suspect in).

Generally, he aims for easy-to-make, cheap, healthy, and delicious meals for the oper8r on the go. This week’s recipe is:

Direct Action Spinach

There are two types of special operator in this world—ones that eat their spinach, and ones that are dead.

Spinach is what’s known as a “superfood” due to the abundant nutrients and natural emollients within. Truly, if you could eat one food for the rest of your life, you would want it to be spinach. A few years ago I was training up the Aussie Navy SEALs on close-quarters ninjitsu during a tour in [REDACTED] and I picked up this Recipe TTP that I have incorporated into my kitchen work ever since.

In only 7 months, I was able to train a whole company of Aussie SEALs how to karate chop an enemy’s head clean off. They were eternally grateful, and in return for my services, they taught me the recipe for what they called “Direct Action Spinach”.

In the Australian SOF community, it is customary to eat this meal prior to raids, prisoner snatches, and other highly kinetic direct action operations.

What you’ll need:

· 1 Bag or box of fresh, unfrozen spinach

· Salt

· Lemon juice (doesn’t have to be fresh)

· Garlic powder

· Olive Oil

· Pan or pot

To Prepare:

· Liberally apply olive oil to the pan

· Dump in spinach

· Set heat to medium

· Watch and stir as needed. It will cook fast but you don’t want it to burn.

· As it shrinks and shrivels into spinach from spinach leaves, season with garlic powder, lemon juice, and salt

Bon Appétit!

Meme of the Week

This meme is important because it is a direct quote from one of our staff’s coworkers when he was trying to impress a new girl at work. You know who you are.

Team Guy September Reading List

“Reading is fundamental” - CPT Chadwick

• Red Team by Micah Zenko

• This Is How They Tell Me the World Ends by Nicole Perlroth

• Chip War by Chris Miller

• Mindfuck by Christopher Wylie

• Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass

Life Tip – USAA Active and Fit

If you’re a USAA member, which you absolutely should be if you’re a military member or veteran, are you familiar with the Active and Fit program?

Basically, it allows you to join any of USAA’s 12,200+ fitness centers and studios with no long-term contracts. Plus, access 10,800+ guided workout videos in the comfort of your home. Get the flexibility you need in a fitness routine.

All for just $28/month.

Usually, the super high-end gyms won’t be options, but this is still a pretty awesome program because of the flexibility it offers and because you don’t have to sign some bullshit contract with a gym that is impossible to cancel.

Click here to check it out.

Closing Remarks